Wednesday, September 11, 2019


Yesterday was particularly stressful for me at work, and I carried home my bad mood to my family.  I was not warm and loving like I can be, I was short & visibly annoyed.  Prior to my husband getting home, I had started dinner but noticed we were lacking two items for me to complete the dinner prep, so I asked him to stop after he picked up Miss O from after school.  He obliged-as he normally does.  They got home as I was just about done getting what I could complete, and Olivia and her daddy had bought me, as an extra treat my favorite drink.  Even that didn't seem to turn my mood around, sadly and looking back on it this morning I feel like such a shit head.  My husband had a meeting later that evening, so I was trying to get dinner done before he had to leave as I figured he was hungry, but instead of asking for help or anything, I just let my disapproval of him sitting in his chair relaxing get the best of me (as I had, as I mentioned a very stressful hard day at work and all I wanted to do was relax and do NOTHING).  When dinner was done, I was platting everything and he pops up and comes into the kitchen, and at that point I lost my composure and was rather nasty as I lashed out at him at how I could finish THIS up...and how he was just going to get in the way.  Did he deserve me to act like a turd towards him because he was coming in there to make his plate?  No.  I guess not, and I felt bad about it after I acted like a child-but it didn't stop me did it?

So today, as I mindlessly drive into work I notice a homeless man sitting on the side of a barrier that separated the road I was driving on from the sidewalk.  He was just sitting there, alone in the dark looking rather sad.  In fact, I normally don't feel much of anything when I see people around town, homeless or other wise - but this particular man made me feel rather shitty about myself.  Look at how much I take for granted.  I ruined for myself, a perfectly lovely evening with my entire family because I  was in a bad mood!  Shame on me.

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