Thursday, August 22, 2019


Okay, so I did a thing......I joined WW again & I am already suffering from it, haha.  Just kidding but seriously, I just want to eat what I want & slim down to the weight I want & just be comfortable in my own darn life (body/skin).

Ever since I had my fist child, I put on some weight.  The weight came on with the second child and the third child as well & yet never really went away.  As I have started to get older I fear that it will never go away, let's face it-Weston is almost 17 years old, the time for change is ....well now dammit.

This will be my THIRD time trying WW out.  The first time I did WW I think I did a pretty good job, lost about 30 pounds and then just-stopped.  Went to IL for a visit-didn't have service on my phone & didn't track anything-and never really got back into it.  I tried a few more times after that, but just couldn't find my groove.

But, the truth is-I am a fat girl.  My family will all say, omg no you're beautiful.  And I don't even know what to say to them when they say that.  I just want to say, I never said I was ugly-I said I AM FAT!  Look at it, look at the fat-it's there-hanging around like a bad meatloaf.

I get it, they think that if they agree then it may hurt my feelings-and hell it may, IDK....they have never tested that theory out.  But I also get when you truly love someone-unconditionally, you don't see things about them that they see about themselves.  Or you even rationalize it as, well I've seen fatter babe/mom.....IDK.

I look at my husband when he says he needs to loose weight or how much he hates his belly or hairline and I don't see what he sees.  I just see a person I love and care about.  So maybe that's it, but come on!  COME ON!  Don't fluff me off, say something like "well I think you should do what makes you happy and I am here to support you 100%"?

Anyway, long story short-I logged my food for the first time last night & I do plan on just eating/drinking normal for the rest of the week just to see what I've been doing to myself-though I did weigh out my dinner last night just to be on the safe side & eat things in portions!  So I get 36 points a day & I used 48.....woops!  LOL  I hope I get better as I gear up for it to REALLY start this Sunday!  Fingers Crossed :)