Thursday, November 08, 2018

Are you "REAL"?

Last night, Olivia was talking to her biological mom on the phone and I overheard part of her went something like this.....

"You're my real mom....and daddy is my real dad"
"yep that's right"
"Yeah, and that's why I love you two the most because you're my real mom and dad"
"well you love mama too"
"yeah, I love her too"

I want to get my feelings out in the open.  The truth is, I am her real parent too.  I don't know why someone would use the term real-it just implies that there is a unreal or a fake.  I am a real parent.  I am her real mom, too.

I am not, however, her biological mother.  I know the term is being used outside of our home, as we don't use the word real or fake/not real/unreal.  If the question or comment comes up, I use the term biological-because that is what it is.

When Olivia got off the phone, she told me that I was her "real" mom too, and that she loved me so so so much.  Maybe she sensed that it may have hurt my feelings, I am not sure.  I told her that it was okay, she didn't need to explain that to me but I did want to explain something to her.

I said.....
"what if you heard me say, Weston is my REAL son and I love him the most, how would you feel?"
"it would hurt my feelings - because I am your REAL daughter"
"I said, yes you are my REAL daughter and I am your REAL mother - but I am not your biological mother-Alicia is"

I wake her every Monday for school, I pick her up after school & we do home work.  I buy her monthly school snacks.  I pick her up from after school care every Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday.  I wash all her clothes, I cook all her meals, I give her her medicine, I read to her and make sure she brushes her teeth.  I worry about her feelings, and fill all her needs on a day to day basis.  I'd say, I'm pretty real ya'll.....

After my conversation with her.....she passed out.

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