I am alone in this world.
Surrounded by people.
Some see me.
Some do not.
I turn and look behind me.
There is no one there.
Who will be there?
Should I look behind me?
Some say I should not.
Some say they see me.
Surrounded by people.
I am alone in this world.


This past weekend we decided to let Olivia have a sleep over with her cousin Savannah.  Savannah is just a few months younger then Olivia.  They had a fun time, though they got on each others nerves rather a lot.  I would hear Savannah say "Olivia you're being so mean" and Olivia say "well stop snatching things from me...." and Savannah saying "well I was playing with it first..." but all in all-they had a great time once Olivia remembered how to share properly ;)

Wrapping Things Up

To say that the last six-seven years haven't been hard on me, and hard on my family - would be an understatement.  Who am I kidding really, it has nearly destroyed me and destroyed my family.  Looking back, I can see how far we have come-looking forward I can see how far we have yet to go.

A family going through, what I consider a tragedy really changes things.  It not only makes you re-evaluate your partner but yourself.  You can really only go down one of two paths.  You either forgive and learn to live on or you choose to forgive and learn to move on.  You all know what path my family chose.  And it's been a long winding road that has not been without it's joys.  It has not been all tears and screaming.

As my heart and mind have mended, and as my family has slowly gotten itself out of this fog I can now really sit back and reflect on what I've gained and what I have lost, without looking at it in such a negative light.  We lost the innocence of our marriage, and for a really long while-our trust & maybe even our love for each other.  Betrayal does that to someone.

During our struggle to get back on solid ground we gave up so much too.  We gave up owning a beautiful Yorkie, we gave up a brand new boat, we gave up on buying a house, we gave up friends & family members, we gave up on days and days of loving and honoring each other.

We gained a beautiful, loving, tender, compassionate child.  We learned new ways to love ourselves and each other.  We learned about compassion and way more about trust and understanding the human condition then I think either of us wanted to know.

I am, after a really long time, proud of my family and proud of who we have become.  I am happy to start thinking about buying a home now and really putting down some roots, roots that will run deep and creating a beautiful life for us to enjoy in our golden years.  Which, sadly isn't to far off (insert awkward laughter).

I'm not perfect, we're not perfect.  We stumble and we fall, but we have learned that getting up and dusting ourselves off won't kill us.  It will only make us stronger.

xoxo, Lela

Almost Five

Little O will be 5 years old August 12th.  The day after her birthday she embarks on her educational career at CCES as a Kindergartner!  She says she is nervous about starting a new school, meeting new people and not knowing what she'll be learning.  I keep telling her how exciting it will be and how much fun she's going to have.  She's not so sure yet.  I cannot wait to hear how her first day of school goes & I cannot wait to meet her teacher.  I cannot wait to be an active parent in her classroom on my Monday's off work.  I cannot wait to go on field trips and eat lunches with her during parent lunching days.  I cannot wait to get the sweet mothers day gifts they make in class, or the Christmas ornaments they make to hang on our tree this year.  This is such a small thing, a small part of her big life but it is so important and so much fun.  I missed so much with the older kids, because I was working so much and now, I am older and am more relaxed at work I can sit back and really enjoy my time (hopefully).

xoxo, Lela

Miss O & Kindergarten

This beautiful, sweet, sensitive little darling is turning five years old in just a few short weeks.  The day after she turns five-she is heading off to her first day of school, Kindergarten.  It's so hard to believe that that her toddler years are behind her-our little caterpillar is now a sweet and gorgeous butterfly!  I am so proud of her and so happy to be her "mama" so I can witness all of her spender.....


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