Thursday, April 27, 2017

Keeping Calm

I have started to becoming particularly uncomfortable with a relationship I have with a family member.  Different things they are saying, and trying to do is making me feel uneasy-like the intentions are not as they should be.  I am not really sure what to do about it because if I say something to anyone, it would just cause several different emotions from several different people.

It's hard to get advice from people I know (or confide in) because most everyone I know is close to my family & close to me in a way that they would also be uncomfortable with the situation and the conversation about the situation.  They would not only judge the family member, but possibly me as well.

I suppose it is something I can handle myself, but I am just not sure how to approach it or if I am perhaps reading to much into it-which I honestly don't think that I am.  I am a very open, honest & approachable person & so over the years, I have found that people are attracted to me that need help, advice, a kind nonjudgmental ear.....and I have provided that type of friendship to several people & perhaps that is all this family member needs too.

I have started to meditate recently, to try to find a way to release some of the stress I am feeling concerning this relationship as it is causing me to not sleep well.  I find it a struggle to tell people how I am feeling when I am not pissed off or offended.  It's not something I am proud of, because by the time I finally let someone know how I feel - it comes out of my mouth and in my body language like I am a stark raving lunatic & then the issue that caused it all isn't addressed - just me feeling bad about my own personal behavior.  I can't let this happen for this particular relationship, as there is to much at steak.  I really hope the meditation works & I am able to find some peace and answers on how I should handle it if it doesn't stop/change on it's own.

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