Wednesday, March 08, 2017

Suffering the Sins of Our Husbands

Loving someone else's child isn't hard, it's rather easy actually.  There is nothing special about me because I opened my heart, home and lives to someone else's daughter.  I am not a better person then anyone else because of how I love her or how I am with her.  I do appreciate it when people compliment me on being a good mother period, but to generalize it towards O is sometimes hurtful.  She's not the lucky one, I am.  That beautiful little soul doesn't have to love me, she has a mother-but she does.  And the love of a child is priceless and precious.

I try to understand peoples reasons for doing certain things or saying certain things.  I try not to get offended, as like I said just now, I try to be very understanding.  I know we are not all the same, despite what the "world" tries to tell us.  I am aware of the differences between men and woman, blacks and whites, strait people and gay people.....and I love the differences & I embrace them & understand them as differences.

After typing the first two paragraphs of this post, I stopped & talked to my sister about it because I was feeling kind of down about it.  She assures me, that I am special & I am a woman of God doing God's work to fix and mend our family & make it a beautiful treasure for others to look up to and be inspired by.  That woman, most woman - anyone she knows would never have suffered the sins of their husband as I have done.  And that is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of.  She told me that God didn't give me Olivia that God gave Olivia me.  It brought tears to my eyes, as it is truly hard to picture yourself as something special or worthy of such praise from another woman - but it was a hard thing and a joyful thing to hear.

I decided to hand over my shame and disappointment over to God & let it be sorted out in his capable hands - as they have gotten to big for me to deal with.  I will find myself being joyful and prideful in the words of other woman, no longer ashamed or insulted when they say things that should make me feel warmth in my heart & soul.

Why is it so hard to listen and hear nice things people say about you?  Well, no longer.  I am making this change, and I am looking forward to what these new fresh eyes have to show me in life.

1 comment

  1. I do not really know your entire story, I will have to poke around your blog and see if I can figure it out. I do know that you are a gift, and you should always feel you are a gift. You are a special woman who deserves the best out of life. I am glad you are thinking a little more clearly and you'll allow the light to reach into your heart and mind.