Not a gift from God-sorry!

Recently, I came across a lot of screen shots I had saved from when I was dealing with my husbands infidelity.  As I was going through them, I thought about how far I have come & that I could finally delete them & wipe them off the face of the earth.  I came across one that the other woman was publicly thanking God for something....small miracles I think is how she put it.  What she was actually thanking, on her page for the world to see - was the fact that I had asked him to leave once I found out about her.  So he had basically been "kicked to the curve"...and she was thanking God for this & for this situation.  I had read text messages between the two of them at the time it was all going on and she mentioned God a bunch of times and how wonderful God was for bringing them together.

Well.  The truth is, lady-just in case you're confused still by this....God will never send you someone else's husband.

We live in a world were self gratification takes precedence over decency.

This is now how I raised my children, and not how I continue to raise my children.  They are learning to stop and think before doing things that could not only hurt themselves, but the others around them.  And to have shame & humility - so they will not have to say sorry later for the things the shouldn't have done today.

xoxo, Lela

O, Sunshine & Brothers

Be Kind.

Despite "un"popular belief I am not to blame for other peoples problems or misfortune in life.  We as adults can make decisions for ourselves and then live with the consequences.  I understand that sometimes, things happen to people that isn't by choice, accidents happen for example, all the time.  I understand that sometimes maybe you've had things happen to you that may have altered your perspective on life as well.  But that still isn't my fault.

Yesterday, when I was leaving work I was approaching a homeless man sitting on a short brick wall in front of the crosswalk.  I made eye contact with him, as that was my New Years Resolution, to pay more attention to people around me, making eye contact and smiling-so I did that.  He responded with "what is there to smile about?" he sounded grumpy - but I don't know him, so that could have just been how he talked and how he was talking to me in an attempt to also be friendly.  I just smiled again & said "Because I am alive!!!" he looked away from me, and never did return a smile.  I then just stood there waiting for the light to turn so I could walk.  He got up as the light was turning and walked in front of me and said "well spend the night outside on the street for one night and then we'll see how much you'd be fucking smiling"......I was a bit stunned because it was so hateful and loud.  It actually scared me that he was being so loud and the look on his face was so hateful and mean.  I didn't respond to him, I just looked at him and crossed the street with the other patron (who had on head phones and was looking at his phone-none the wiser to what was going down).

There were so many things I could have said back to him, hateful things-but again, I don't know this man-I have no idea why he's homeless & so those words would be empty.  I decided in a short moment before I crossed the street to just let him have that-maybe it made him feel better to try to shame me for not being homeless.  He doesn't know me either, and he doesn't know the struggles that I have been through and that the fact that I could have very well been homeless myself if I hadn't made the choices that I made along the way.  I had been close to being homeless due to financial reasons and just not having enough money to go around.  I live every day just trying to make ends meet-and I have often been successful and unsuccessful in my efforts.

I put out into the universe that it isn't my fault that this gentleman is homeless.  It's not societies fault either.  I don't know why he is homeless, but even a gentleman of his age (which looked to be about 60ish) even felt entitled.  And maybe he is entitled to some mental heath help-I don't know.  But this doesn't fall on me.  My family already pays taxes that go to programs that are supposed to help people in need & programs that do help people in need.  I have been working since I was 16 years old & paid taxes the entire time.  I buy items locally to help stimulate the economy in my area.  What else can I do?  I vote in people who I think will help people and help us as Americans to do better and be better in all areas.

I don't know why this situation left me feeling so shitty, but it isn't my burden to bear and so I am trying to lay it to rest and keep going.  I will continue to make eye contact with the world of people around me and smile.  My goal is to just be kind.

xoxo, Lela

Booty Crack......?

Listen, I am all for fashion trends...and I get that leggings are so very popular right now & I do try very hard to embrace this ... even though it's not really for wear...out in pubic....

Having said that, today-and everyday actually, I noticed a young woman walking around on campus wearing the ever so popular black leggings and these bad boys were literally up her entire crack (front to back ya'll).  So we've all heard people say on social media "fat girls shouldn't wear spandex" or "leggings"...but ya'll skinny bitches can & wear them like this?  Yeah...not so sure that's cool either folks!  and now after having said that too.........I am not a lover of them on anything but toddlers - but that's just I said before - I am TRYING to embrace this trend..

So anyway there she was strutting around-I mean, very fit, very she has no "shame to her game" but.....ya know I hear people saying "fat girls shouldn't wear leggings"....but skinny girls "can" and you literally can see her vagina outline and her entire butt as if she was buck naked?

I feel so.....offended lol (JK) but yuck!

---this isn't my image---I found it on a MEME's I can't take credit for it k---

Doesn't do Harm

It became very clear to me during my last conversation with my son Weston that perhaps he isn't cut out for football.  I love him and I don't want to discourage him from following his dream, or just going out and enjoying life....but maybe this particular journey needs to end.

Last Monday, we were talking on our way to his dentist appointment & he was complaining about his neck hurting.  He said that last practice, he was against a kid that was bigger then him and he "the kid" was hitting him with all of his force...and it threw his neck back and hurt it a bit.  I reminded him that he too should be hitting with all his force and said you know, in this particular sport it's you against a person...who can hit the hardest.  So it's either you getting hurt or the other kid, wouldn't you rather that other kid get hurt?  He said "no, not really...."

And that my friends is the beautiful soul that I have raised....the sweet caring gentle giant that he is.....I knew what his answer would before I even asked.  I don't want to world to change this person, I want him to grow into his adult body & adult mind feeling the same way about humans and about life, so he can be a wonderful caring and thoughtful husband and father, as well as remain my darling youngest birthed son!

I am very proud of my little WQL!!!

Hope your weekend was better....

This past weekend was a long one, I was off on Friday due to homecoming.  I had lots of things planned.  Lots on the agenda.  Wanted to get the boys hair cut, and get them new baseball pants & belts for their games on Saturday, wanted to go to their first game of the fall ball season, wanted to get to the grocery store & pick up yummy vittles that I could cook for the family all weekend since we were all together.

Well, I didn't get much of that accomplished, but Billy sure picked up my "SLACK".  Poor Olivia spent about 10 hours just puking her guts out due to either a bug or food poisoning.  This little event happened Friday late afternoon until about 5am Saturday morning.  She was up puking all night long, every 10 mins, then every 20, then every 45 before she finally passed out.....we passed out.  We stayed home Saturday, just in case she wasn't done and let the guys all do the baseball thing....but she seemed to get over it just as quickly as she had it come on.  Poor thing!

The boys do look handsome with their new haircuts..even though I didn't get to enjoy the time spent with them getting this done - or buying new baseball stuff!

Over all, after the sickness cleared & I was able to get some sleep we had a good weekend.  Monday the boys didn't have school & so Weston and I spent some time together alone-went to his dentist appointment & had some lunch.  Did some light shopping as well before heading home to feed Xander & let the boys play until baseball practice.

I hope everyone elses weekend was just a bit better then ours :)

xoxo, Lela

You can't ever get that time back.....

I woke up this morning with a little clarity and a little more insight on how my life has been going to date.  I am not going to waste so much time on caring about people who do not care for me.  I am not going to waste so much time on social media, and playing games on my phone when the kids are around wanting attention.  I spend to much time in thought and trying to be thoughtful to others, that I miss out and am not that way with the actual people living in my house.

I really do focus on the wrong people and the wrong tasks.  I care to much about my house being clean, and the dishes being done right that I am missing out on moments in my life that I really shouldn't.  I go to bed and wake up and think I have all the time in the world to spend with my children, and my husband.  But yesterday, as I was trying to go to sleep it weighed heavy on my mind - that today - when I was at Weston's dental appointment - he's almost grown.  He is almost eye to eye with me.  And though he is only 14 and I still have 4 years left of him being a child - I ONLY HAVE FOUR YEARS LEFT!!!  Then he'll be gone, out int he world living his life - maybe even across country like Gavin & Teresa.

Four years.  That's not much time!  Not much time at all.

Changing habits though, that will be hard-but it will be worth it!

Goodbye Summer

Olivia & I took the boys to baseball practice yesterday & decided to take a little run down to the river to see what the water looked like after the big storm we had this past was calm & beautiful like normal.  The water temperature felt cooler so we can safely say it really is the end of summer!  In Florida, that's how you tell in case you didn't know lol :)


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