Not looking back ya'll

So, it's universally true-I am a big mushy sap.  I hear "phrases" sometimes about life & I get all teary & choked up.  It's pathetic really, because to the outside world I seem like a cold hard bitch, no?  I mean, I really don't know honestly how other people truly feel about me-I have my suspensions lol!  But I've never asked-or really cared I guess either for the most part.  But now, sitting her I wonder.

As I was driving into work today, I was constantly looking in my rear view mirror to see if any of the fellow drivers were catching up to me.  I like to be in the lead you see, anyway....when I looked back at the road in front of me I thought-"hell I better pay attention to what's in front of me and not worry about those yahoos..." but really, I am the dumb ass for not just looking forward....not just paying attention to what's in front of me, giving to much thought to what's behind me...

Having that thought made me think about my five year struggle to get my mind, heart and soul back to what it once was-back in my glory day...when I was carefree with my love, trust & time.....I should be more focused on my future and not my past...because I frankly do not what that shit to catch up with me.  I like it being in the distance.  It's not far enough away that I cannot see it, but it certainly isn't touching me anymore!  THANK THE LORD!

Anyway, thinking about that gave me a tear....I am so proud of myself for all the progress I have made-seriously, who would have thought?

With all that said, here is a photo I took years ago of a beautiful orchid that I have since killed :(


  1. You have shown amazing growth in the last few years -- you are moving forward and are better than ever. Love you.


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