But I want you, she said....

Last night, Weston had yet another baseball practice.  This following the night before, having a game.  We didn't get home Tuesday evening until pretty late & O didn't get to bed until about 9:45pm-which is very late for her normal 7/730 bedtime.

So last night, I was determined to get her in bed on time.  Which meant, cooking a quick dinner, a quick bath & hopefully a quick small almost wordless book.

As I scrambled around trying to get shit done, the stress was getting to me...and to her!  This was also compounded by the dirty dishes that Weston "washed" that had to be rewashed so I could use them to prepare our dinner!  ANNOYING!  Every time I would stop moving, O would say...."mama can I hold you......" and I would say "not right now O I am busy..." and she would reply in a small voice "but I want you...."

I continued hammering away at getting the tasks done so we could spent some time together & I could get her in the bed on time.......it didn't happen.  It was bedtime right after her bath, which left little time for one on one interaction.....soooo instead of a short almost wordless book I sat in her room, looking at her with her sweet brown curls all snuggled up under her two must have blankets....eyes wide & waiting for me to reveal to her what Olivia & JoJo have been up to lately.  Last night I let her tell the story too, which she was very interactive with.  It made our hearts warm, but as I kissed her goodnight her eyes looked weepy as I could see she didn't have enough time.

So, I have to throw out the bedtime rules I guess, how can I look at that face - knowing her only crime is that she wants to be with me more-how do you say no to that!?  How do you slow down and make life easier for them; and yourself.

I go to bed not to shortly after her-and so I would like some alone time too having a glass of wine and watching something other then Paw Patrol or some sort of Disney Princess crap lol!

How do you other moms find the time to give to yourself, your job, your side job, the house, the kids and the husband?  I know all of those aspects are probably not at 100% in my life.  Is it possible to be?

I am very much looking forward to vacation so we can just slow down and enjoy our lives-for once.
(this is my sweet girl hanging on to me-as I sit for two seconds before I have to get up to check on the dinner-she wasn't happy at my cooking dinner last night-all she wanted me to do was sit and hold her)



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