Are you my family?

Is blood thicker then water?  Is family more important then friends, or non-family?  What makes you family?  Does marriage make you family, or is that just more water?

These are things that plaque my thoughts often, even though I try not to admit that they do.  I just feel the sting of the snub still I suppose.  I have come a long way though, I guess the part that bothers me the most now is the distance that my other kids get from all of this crap as well.  It's like they were snubbed to, family or not.  If blood is thicker then water, then I wish I had water rushing through my veins.

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Ballet Flats

I want/need a simple black pair of ballet flats for work to wear with various skirts, capris & slacks.  Something simple.  I really love the look of the Tiekes, but boy are they expensive coming in at a $195 price tag (for the ones I want)

I read someone elses blog about Gap's knock off version of them, but alas-they do not sell them anymore.

I did a quick facebook post about flats & was told Lucky or Hushpuppies had some cute versions.
 Hush Puppies (above)

I picked Hush Puppies to try out, due to the breathable fabrics.  Fingers crossed, if all else fails I'll end up spending the big price tag to get what I want....

It's Friday, Friday-gotta get down on Friday

This weekend couldn't get here fast enough.  Not because anything exciting is happening, or extraordinary-we just have some baseball games with the boys is all & Miss O is coming home for the weekend.  I have been sick all week, and was sick all last weekend-so I am happy to be feeling a bit more normal so I can spend the weekend with my loves instead of laying up in the bed coughing and moaning.  Not only that, but I did some online shopping & some retail shop shopping and got Miss O some cute summer outfits for our home & her mothers home.  Check another thing off the list, oh yeah.  I also finally got her room some what completed, as far as all the new bedding I wanted.  Also refreshed the guest bath (G&O's Bathroom), though G said that I must be pushing him out already since the new style is a bit more feminine lol.  He said it jokingly of course.  Well, there is one thing that can be said no matter what happens, I always did all I could to make her feel loved, wanted, welcome, thought of & accepted.  Again, another situation I can walk away from if I have to with my head held high.  Billy is always commenting on how I always seem to have one foot out the door, and how that worries him daily.  I don't feel that I have a foot out the door, I do feel as though I am very cautious of my heart & soul though & I am always watching and keeping guard of it.  I guess eventually I will learn to soften up and start letting those walls down.  We'll see.

Today I woke up feeling "pretty", which doesn't happen to often (as a girl if you are reading this you know exactly what I am talking about).  I am wearing new shoes to celebrate this feeling, which is kind of like putting a cherry on top.  The top is new as well, though not the first time I've worn it.

I hope everyone has a great weekend, and I hope to have lots of photos to share of the boys playing this weekend! <3

A little Heart Warming

For the past two weeks, I have been sending my husband messages daily to help remind him that he's loved and needed.  Since Friday, I've been sick and needless to say, slacking in the "sweet" department.  Today, I was looking over passages of things to say to your husband (things I jotted down over the years) and I came across one that said "Thank you for your faithfulness to our marriage".  Well, I look at that all the time, and think-well I damn sure can't send him that can I-and I'll move on to something else.  Today, I decided to say it.......I told him "Thank you for your new faithfulness to our marriage"...and his response was very touching, his words were "Thank you baby. I never want to put you through anything like this again. I love you more than life itself and want to spend what little time we have on earth with my best friend and love of my life."

Just thought I'd share.... <3
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What to do, What to do!??

Picking out clothing for Miss O is always fun, even if we are buying her things to take to her moms house.  I bought all of the below to originally take to her moms house, the top three made the cut.  Billy liked the bottom three-so they stayed at home with us.  We also bought some items from Gymboree & gave her one of those outfits as well as some other things I picked up while shopping in person-not online so we could send over 6-7 outfits as well as sleep clothing, socks and a new sippy cup.  Little girl clothes are so cute!!!

matchables halter topmatchables rainbow leopard shorts
productkeyhole flutter sleeve top

smocked crisscross back tank topdenim woven shorts
productsay cheese graphic tee
The last three Billy liked so much we ended up keeping them for our house & also picked up the below cuteness.
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It's the little things....

Those of you that have read this blog for years have watched it evolve and change.  I used to talk more about photography & food and not so much personal, unless I was talking about the boys baseball games or Teresa's college.  Well, times have changed haven't they?  I like the direction the blog has gone and the direction my life has taken as well.  Three years ago, if you would have told me I was going to be married to a man that was unfaithful & due to that unfaithfulness was the result of a child-I would have thought you were kidding, or playing the cruelest joke on me.

But here we are.  Living the life that we live.  I have not really come right out and said those words each time I blog, but the intent is always there-that if you know me, you know my struggle.  And if you don't know me, well maybe you can just relate to the pain and disappointment of someone who's wronged you or a struggle you're going through yourself that isn't related at all.

When I was dealing with this situation head on, I researched a lot-searching for information on how to cope or how to deal with the husband, the child & the other woman.  It was hard to find anything "real" out there, aside from old articles from Cosmo, which wasn't what I was searching for. I was searching for real hard information, how you did it type of thing-not how you "think" you'd deal with it.  I have even joked to my husband about writing a book about the situation-because maybe it would help someone out there going through what I did &what I am-who just feels so lost & alone-like I did and like I do sometimes.

Yesterday, for example a friend on Facebook-someone I have never met in person-but know through Facebook and mutual friends emailed me saying they had read part of my blog posts and they wanted to thank me for the things I wrote & the things I said because she was going through something, not the same but similar and she was so thankful for what she wrote & how it was just what she needed.  I have to tell you, that just made my day & really solidified the fact that I am on the right path, not only in my marriage but in my writings.  I have started that book, and it is growing and manifesting itself as a true testament of my strength, loyalty and hell, my life.  It's not often that I say this, but I am proud of myself.  I am proud of who I am becoming.  I am sorry if that sounds vain, but hell-shouldn't we be proud of ourselves & our lives?

OMG I have a sickness....

I am totally & completely addicted to buying baby girl clothing.  Someone stop me before the child has to many clothes to even wear.  I just purchased the cutest things from Gymboree-big sale (BIG SALE).
Cherry Blossom ShortBow Pocket Tee
Lantern Bow TopRuffle Blossom TopDobby Bow Shorts
Chevron Flower TopButtons and Bow Jean
Chambray Kitty ShortKitty Lantern Tee
Not to mention, since I think I packed away her amber necklace into Savannah's belongings, I had to re-purchase her a new necklace & then a few items for the room to top it off & make it complete.....

Genuine Raw Baltic Amber Baby Teething Necklace Honey color beads authentic
Circo® 100% Cotton Woven Chevron Fitted Baby Crib Sheet Circo® Triple Ruffle Solid Crib Skirt
Someone please stop me before it gets out of control...because Kohl's has a lot of cute OshGosh items on sale as well as little Carter's outfits!!!
Circo® Love n Nature Bed Set - Toddler
This is the bedding I finally purchased for the crib, and yes yes I know it's toddler bedding-but that means the comforter is bigger & nicer :) and will take her all the way up until she is out of the crib and in the toddler bed...oh yes, always thinking ahead.

Already in the spring/summer wardrobe:
Striped Bubble One-Pieces for BabyBubble Shorts for BabyEmbroidered-Boho Tops for Baby
Ruffled Polka-Dot Swimsuits for Baby

Back at It

After a long, stressful & emotionally draining several weeks-this weekend we had our first set of baseball games.  Weston's team lost & Xander's team won....but they all played great.  Very proud of my boys.  Billy mowed on Sunday & I cleaned out the closet of bedroom #5 and the shed-something I've been meaning to do for months now.  Making room, and trying to decide what I can part with.  The weekend was gorgeous, sunny, bright & warm.  Here are a few photos I'd like to show off.

 Coach Billy, giving the boys *& 1 girl* a pep talk before starting game #1 of Spring Ball Season 2014.  Very proud of my husband for coaching again this year.  He's a great coach & he listens to his wife's advice about who should play where lol ;)

 Xander throwing out the first pitch of the game.  He did a great job.  Pitched two innings.

 Weston, at bat.  Ready to hit that ball!!!

 My sweet Weston, being ummm-well SILLY!!!

& last but not least...while Billy mowed-Miss O and I watched-and played.....

Give me that camera lele!!

Look at those lashes-she get's them from her brother Xander!

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I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.  I also emotional respond, either out of anger or hurt.  In general, I don't attack & I am a bit passive aggressive when I am trying to get my point across.  There are many reasons for this, one I try not to & don't want to hurt any ones feelings & two-who knows how I will fee a week later-a month later, or let's say seven months later.

Several months ago (SEVERAL) I encountered some displeasing behavior.  Not only was it displeasing for myself, but for my husband as well.  Our perspective was that it was pointless & silly for this person to behave so rudely, oddly & unfamiliar.  But as time goes on, I realize that what I didn't realize was something someone was capable of & there for shocking me and making me think they were being rude, odd & unfamiliar was just really how they are period.

It took me months of pondering this situation to realize that I got off lucky.  And they are the one that is suffering the consequences of their own actions-not me.  I am lucky to be on the outside now, because if you're on the outside-you never have to be put out.  At first I was angry, hurt & very disappointed by the lack of support, lack of love and lack of human feeling.  Now, I am happy, relieved and satisfied that I don't have to deal with this ever again.  God does work in mysterious ways for sure.

So much has changed & evolved in my family, my friendships & my relationship with my husband.  And those who were meant to stand strong beside us didn't, those who I figured would run didn't & love has been expressed in the most natural & humanizing way from the most unlikely candidates.

I have changed.  I have evolved. I am no longer that scared hurt person.  I no longer have to "deal" with people because they are "family".  I can stand on my own, I can stand with you.  I never choose to walk down the path alone-but I will, and bravely I will go.

Life is Beautiful....

We are happy to announce that little Savannah is moving back to Jacksonville to be closer to her parents and so she can participate in parenting classes with the goal of being reunited with her mommy & daddy.  We certainly have enjoyed having her stay with us while they worked out whatever schedules they needed to work out.  We have had five weeks of sleepless nights, tons of bottles, lots of poop & sweet little smiles.  So it's all been worth it.  Life is beautiful!!  We feel so blessed to have had our niece stay with us & that we were able to be there for her.  Good luck K, J & S.  We love you all.

Here are a few of the recent pics we took of her while in our home before she went home :)


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